Fe|Tz

a BIG smile!!!

2005-03-07T19:24:00.000+08:00

i love my present life .. cux ish reali great.. dere ish a guy .. ish a guy dat ish from my sch .. dunno y whenever wif him .. i will smile and laugh like hell .. haha ..the guy ish interested in mi .. but i am not .. sorry to sae dat .. but he noes .. i treat him like real kor kor.. =) now .. i am single .. i like the freedom .. i can go out wif hu i wan .. even a guy .. i won't nid to worry dat my stead will get jealous or sorts.. and i wanna be SINGLE! except if "someone's kor kor ask mi to his stead den i will consider lorx" hee hee.. the "someone" can't tell ish hu.. =p ... there's improvement shown in my hw .. and test .. i am so happy! reali very happy! but i can't cope much .. I LOVE TODAY! the day ish reali great! although ish a sch day.. hee hee..btw.. i write till here lerx bahx.. i jux home.. i go bath lerx!

-AIM-

2005-02-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

hihix.. i long time nv update my blog liaox.. miss mi mahx?? keke ... tis few months lots of changes was made in my daily life.. like where i normally hang out?? The friends i am wif now .. the place i go on saturday n sunday .. now .. i dun often go out liaox.. once i go out .. i will reach home bout 7 or 8 ... In school .. i am no longer running here and dere .. joining different groups of friends everyday .. now i am alwayz wif Li xin, Xu jie, Peck si, Wen jing and Li ting .. haha .. nowadays .. saturday n sunday .. i will go church .. the oldself of mi .. love to run here and dere and love to sweat .. the present mi dun like it ani more .. but i will still feel very good after sweating .. tis few dayz i did sth dat will surprise the pple hu is close to mi .. i quit volleyball n joined symphonic band .. Surprise huh? The old of mi .. will prefer sports den music .. but now .. i prefer music den sports .. so fast february gonna end lerx.. i like my present lifestyle .. no worry .. no care ffer much tings .. i nid to care is onli my sch tings n friendship (i won't care ffer other frenship onli in sch) recently .. i tink i lost a good fren/lesbo dat is Aisah .. after i broke up wif condrey .. she seems cold to mi .. she seems to change .. her atitude reali sux .. she turned cold ... but i dun care bout dat ani more .. cux i dun often skate ani more .. and i dun hang out ard the rink ani more .. since the day i broke up wif COndrey ... real lots tinga around mi change... i notice how i neglected the frens in sch around mi .. i didn't even spend time wif my sch frens .. but now.. can sae single bahx.. i spend most of the time in sch .. and i got closer to my sch mates .. but afew dat hates mi .. still hates mi .. but I DON'T CARE ... present mi .. won't get angry easily lerx.. cux i juz dun care ... i dunno why i change into a ger like tis .. but nvm bahx.. dun bother .. today was the cross-country .. i love it .. i aimed for the first 12 ffer the trophy last yr n tis year .. but failed .. i got into the first 20 .. lolx.. but i still do my best ffer next yr .. tis few days .. a ting bothered mi .. dat is a secret dat is kept in mi ffer a long time .. but tis secret cannot be revealed n mux not be revealed .. lolx .. juz hope one day .. the secret will disappear bahx.. =) ... time to go do my hw liaox.. take care everyone!! love ur!! especially my dearest kor kor Junlong (i am bias..lolx..) God bless!

It will take a long time to heal ..

2005-01-17T20:39:00.000+08:00

yest .. i broke up wif condrey .. dat is my suggestion .. he alwayz ask .. why i wanna break up .. reasons is .. i wanna gain trust from my mother again .. i wanna concentrate on study n i doesn't wanna hurt him ani more .. but i dun bear to but in e end i still did .. for the sake of both of us .. i felt tired to be in a relationship ..real tired .. a moment .. i will tink whether did i hurt him or wat ever .. or did i neglected him .. he ask mi b4 dat y i rather choose frenz den him when i am goin out in a group .. my ans is bcuz i am still young .. i nid frenz around .. i can accompany him ani time .. but frenz .. can dey alwayz go out if dey wan? Wish he will understand wat i mean bah .. he ask alot of tings .. but most of dem is bcuz i am running away from e truth ..
today i got a vb tornament wif peicai sec .. lost e first round by 3 score .. n e second round by i tink 14 .. b4 dat .. i trained my upper service .. till i injured my hand .. but e repay is in e match .. i am said to use lower arm .. but not upper arm .. which is e services .. dat sentence has broke my heart.... now .. i isn't typing fast .. my rite hand hurts .. reali hurts alot .. haiz .. i am reali sad today .. not doin hw today .. even get scolded .. i dun care ani more .. :'( ... my hand reali hurts alot le .. i tink i beta stop here .. it is getting worse n worse .. haha .. take care my frenz out dere .. bye ..

+++SaD+++

2005-01-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

Long time i never write le .. tis few dayz .. i have been quite sad .. e reason is very simple .. is bcuz i moved to my mother place to stay .. no more staying wif my grandma .. i reali miss staying dere .. i am happy dere but not here .. since e day i stayed in my mother place .. i am sad .. very sad .. my heart seems to be broken .. haiz .. ='( ... e relationship i'm in .. is okay le .. no prob .. no worries .. somehow i dun understand y my mother can't get along wif ani of e family member .. not even my brother dat can tolerate lotz .. now a dayz .. lotz of tings dat my brother , my grandma n mi agrees juz onli my mother dun agrees ... she is so stubborn .. hate dat! I AM NOT HAPPY STAYING HERE!!! in around two weeks time .. i gonna have a volleyball tornament so my coach is training us so hard dat i am reali tired !! but is okay .. i had fun .. heez! tis few dayz .. cuz of moving to my mother place .. i am reali very tired .. after skool will be around 6+ .. reach grandma house around 7 .. den i still gotta eat and bath .. is around 8 .. den still gotta do hw .. is bout 9+ .. den still gotta go to my mother place .. (by bus!!!) .. tis a torture!! i am damn tired .. i write till here bah .. bye .. tc!

Halo ...

2004-11-30T12:47:00.000+08:00

halo ... pple out dere ...my com have broke down so won't be updating often le .. tis few weeks ... alot of sad tings happen .. i didn't noe wat to do but luckily i got my best friend to seek for they are Gina and Aisah .. thnks alot friends ... tis few weeks ... i didn't slept well .. almost everyday i got nitemare .. although i ask myself not to care but my mind juz seems to be distracted by the matters tt is happening ... some how .. tis few dayz i couldn't concentrate much .. didn't noe wat to do .. i felt tired too ... reali very tired of wat's happening ... is like the same ting happening again and again juz tt is on the diff pple and the person is some kind related to mi .. hmm .. decided not to tink ani more .. be carefree tt's more important .. (Dun wanna be old so fast .. bleah !) -smileZ- tink write till here bah .. tc .. Will alwayz love him .. and i do love him from my heart! (face red liao .. jkjk)

Happy ,,, Contented ,,, Love him ,,,

2004-11-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

sorry for not posting for such a long period ... knewing i stay in Express .. i was happy .. but wasn't realli happy cuz some personal tings happen too ... i wasn't satisfied wif my perfomance tis year .. i feel tt i can get beta grades than now wat in my report book .. but at least i did stay in Express wif a last min work .. tis few dayz ... mi starting to go back as last time le .. starting to jump and laugh le .. finally .. no trouble ...cannot sae no trouble bah .. but less trouble ... not reali sae as trouble bah .. can sae is problems .. mi finally can join the Guitar course which i wish for a long long time .. i was contented tt mi and condrey is still together without ani arguements or quarrelling happening in between us ... i am waiting for the coming 8th month ... i am also waiting for the day when it is christmas and could go orchard to see the lights ... mi hoping percentage is high ... fear of dissappointment is also very high ... but all i could do is juz to pray bah .. love him ... today .... in the morning .. went to sommerset mrt to wait for Gina wif Condrey .. as we are goin out .. but i muz reach home by 5.30pm ... i was so surprise when i noe i muz be home by 5.30pm .. normally is 7 or 8 pm .. didn't wanna reach home so earli so request goin skating ... Gina , con and mi went to long john to have our brunch? then went to the arcade awhile then con and mi went to his house to get his boots .. and Gina went heeren to meet her friends or friend bah .. after getting his boots .. we went Jurong , the rink there .. and waited for my mum .. for quite a time bah .. and went in about 4pm .. the time when my mum reach .. skated till 7.45pm and mum came to mi and told mi she is goin dinner wif her bf and someone .. as the someone is treating them .. so she gave us 10 bucks.. we went dinner and was told to reach home by 9.20pm .. i was happy tt i could stay longer wif con ... ;) ... hmm .. now is about the tonament tis week .. monday , wed and fri .. was quite a sianx game bah .. although i met strong opponent .. cuz i felt tt our team is weak .. our team members alwayz have quarrels..they dun have a team work ... haiz .. btw.. in a sentence .. we lost very badly ... hmm .. about the 22nd BBQ at east coast park .. my class gathering .. i dislyk it.. i am incharge in all .. so stress .. haiz .. and the wen hui tot herself great wanna do all the tings herself .. haiz .. but no matter wat ... is my job.. my responsibility .. so gotta tell wen hui still .. haiz .. change sub bah .. tis few weeks .. reali happy .. most happy is i am still wif condrey!! haha .. crazy mi ! bleahx! tink i write till here le .. wanna call him .. haha ..buaiz ..

Do u noe .. u are the one hurting her the most not mi??!!

2004-10-24T22:15:00.000+08:00

juz now ... my mum called mi .. and cried saying mi making grandma upset and lotz of crap .. but does she noe .. she is the one hurting grandma the most?? Does she noes .. most of the time .. grandma cried not cuz of mi but cuz of her? She doesn't noe and pushing all blames on mi .. saying all my faults.. she sae .. now she felt reali very tough .. but did she ever tot of my feelings too? Did she noe y i dun wanna stay at home? Does she noe y i dislyk staying at home? She didn't .. but juz saying mi love goin out .. she said tt y can't i stay at home .. i have father and mother not dun have .. but does she even i have a father and mother ... it seems like i dun have .. my father .. i see him how mani times one mth? sometimes i dun even see him for mths .. my mother .. i onli see her on fri , sat and sun .. but not alway tis 3 dayz .. sometimes ..onli see her once a mth or week ..although my father give mi money .. although my mother give birth mi.. but did they ever see mi grow? did they give mi a complete family? NO!! since i was born .. seeing them quarrel everyday .. no peace .. i reali cannot take it ani more .. reali cannot .. i dunno wat should i do .. i am reali tired !! Reali very very tired..

StI|L sAd...StI|L wAnNA cRy..

2004-10-23T22:32:00.000+08:00

juz now.. con called .. tok to him .. and we tok thru ... but i still wanna cry .. i still felt sad .. :'( .. my eyes are still swollen .. my nose are still pain .. i tot of sth too .. why did i so easily forgive him no matter how he hurt mi? Y did i cry cuz of him? Is tis call love? Maybe .. i use to noe wat is love but now .. i reali dunno .. i mix everyting up .. haiz .. ani wae .. juz wish to see him asap.. misses his hugx ... misses his voice .. haha .. crazy mi .. onli one night wat .. if i like tt liao ..then during the dayz when i am in switzerland .. he might have landed into woodbridge le loh.. haha .. today .. hmm .. might be the most unforgetable day bah .. a day tt i nv tried b4 .. crying the whole day .. lolx .. (cry baby) .. haha .. tink write till here bah .. love daddy .. love him love him love him love him love him love him love him love him love him .. wahahaha ... Buaiz .. love daddy!

|0sT...

2004-10-23T17:00:00.000+08:00

First time .. i felt so scared .. felt so unsafe .. knewing tt con is using up the next week's friday , sat and sun .. knewing tt he can't stay in mainland .. knewing i lost my hp .. the precious tings in my bag ... i finally broke into tears after i knew tt con is not staying in the main land .. i ran .. ran as far as i can .. so tt he doesn't see mi cry ... dun wan him to heart break .. dun wan him to worry .. was stopped by him when i was at the escalator .. i told him nth and ran away .. i ran in no direction .. i ran in not knowing where i am running to ... i ran to a place where i nv went b4 .. i lost my way .. tears also keep flowing down my cheeks .. i cool myself down as i walk slowly .. i felt so scared .. i felt so unsafe .. i ask a lady passing by .. where is the mrt .. i followed her .. as soon as i reached the mrt .. i thnked her and ran away .. i ran in no direction .. juz follow the path .. i felt so scared .. didn't wan to go home .. neither i wan to go to the rink ... no place to go .. bus card no money .. i took mrt and bus home .. i cried on the way home .. i juz can't stop the tears flowing ... once i reach home ... i ran into my room and about to close the door.. grandma question mi .. y are my eyes so swollen? y are my nose so red? i told her nth but she juz didn't believe.. she kept questioning mi till i vent my anger at her .. i got beaten and slap by her .. i told her my hp was lost .. my bag was lost too .. she scolded mi harsly .. i didn't noe wat to do .. she ask y i cried until like wat .. she doesn't noe .. the tings in my bag .. are my precious tings .. the bag although is used after my brother .. i love tt bag .. a bag tt i have feelings in .. the tings in my bag.. i have fall in love wif .. the water bottle .. so hard then i got one from my mum .. i juz lost it .. the hp .. my precious hp .. i cried in my room .. can't stop .. and i called con .. he told mi he is free next week fri , sat and sun .. i wasn't happy .. i juz continue feeling sad ...i dunno whether i should be happy not .. i felt tt he wanna go .. but juz bcuz of mi .. he is not goin.. i dunno whether i should be happy not .. reali dunno ... my tears is still rolling down my cheeks.. i have no idea how to stop my tears ... as long as the hp ... the precious tings .. the bag .. the water bottle and THE STORY BOOKS ...i wanna cry .. although i am at home now .. my heart is still filled wif fear .. i still feel unsafe .. i still feel reail scared .. i dunno y .. reali dunno y .. feel like killing myself .. juz once pain and tt's all .. but i can't be so selfish .. i can't bcuz of myself .. dun care about other pple feelings .. especially "dad" .. haiz ... my tears are still rolling down my cheeks .. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( ....... I hate my family .. how sad am i here ..can't my grandma juz let mi have some peace?? She is so unreasonable .. she is so petty .. she is so irritating .. feel like running out of my house .. last time .. whenever i am sad .. i will tink of con.. but tis time .. i dun even feel like finding him .. dunno y .. :'(

MiX FeEliNgS ..

2004-10-21T21:23:00.000+08:00

today .. went to skool as normal .. but was in the class room since 8am till 1.40pm .. nv leave the class room .. not even one step .. the whole day ... no teacher.. haha .. good horz? then wen hui played the volley ball in class and was caught by one teacher and was scolded and took away the ball .. then after skool .. went to canteen to meet my bros .. which is bing quan and edwin loh .. thn after awhile .. they ask mi down to the level below the canteen .. i pulled wen hui wif mi .. then we two ask them to donate for us .. wahahah ..(next time muz qiao zha them!! lolx!) then went to find the teacher back for the ball wif wen hui .. the teacher didn't give us back but the teacher lectured wen hui .. and will be passing the ball to mr goh which is our volleyball teacher .. then after tt ..we went to the volleyball training .. haha .. mi long time nv go le .. today the teacher in the morning went to look for mi .. wahaha .. to ask y i so long nv go le . wahaha .. then i found out tt i bcame very weak le .. i can't tahan the tiredness le .. sianx.. i today also pulled my leg muscle .. now damn pain sia .. lolx .. haiz .. i also pulled my rite hand muscle .. sianx liao .. then now my leg cannot bend and my rite hand cannot carry heavy tings or will pain .. my knee also pain le .. sianx sianx sianx!!! My also got cough liaoz.. haiz.. today ..during the training .. all the gers also sian sian one .. haha.. no one reali go play so keep on get scolded by the teacher loh .. wahaha .. i mean coach .. then met con outside my skool at 6.05pm .. mi volleyball training start from 2pm to 6pm .. then i and con went to mac to eat as i was reali reali very hungry ...and he was there juz to send mi home .. haha ..then reach home about 7pm bah ... bath and came online .. heez! Ate my dinner le .. now online .. listening to 25 mins-micheal learns to rock .. as i listen .. dunno y .. the friend i lose came to my mind .. and makes mi wanna cry .. reali feel like crying .. the tears is about to flow out .. but today .. when i was scolded by my volleyball coach .. i told myself not to cry ani more .. will try hard not to drop a tear out out of my eye .. must be strong .. today .. got all my results le .. wasn't satisfied at all ... i believe i can do better then tis .. but at least i still manage to stay in express... I also felt sad for one of my ex friend... although she pass the overall but fail the english .. haiz.. wish next yr she manage to come to express again .. all of us will welcum her ;).. wish her all the best.. tml .. meeting might be meeting bing quan , and will be meeting Belinda and con .. =) .. heepy ! haha .. tired le .. buaiz ..

MisSeD hIm MucH!!

2004-10-20T20:18:00.000+08:00

Halo .. today .. hmm .. was a nice day bah .. in the morning woke up at 10am .. then at 1.30pm went out to my grandma's place .. i took 186 to queenstown and waited for con for awhile onli .. then went to tiong bahru .. went there the Arcade and played para para .. haha .. then went to my grandma's house at Cantonment .. i reach my grandma place around 4 bah .. haha ... was quite sianx there ..sobx sobx ... then went to home loh .. but was quite earli so we went to the carpark .. at 7 .. then i went home .. heez! .. so sianx ... now .. nth much to do le .. dunno y .. i starting to miss him le .. haiz ... last time not so easy miss him one loh ..haha ... today ... at least did see con .. after today .. might have to wait for 4 days then can see him again le .. tml .. mi goin to meet my god bro .. fri .. mi goin to play basketball loh and goin to buy present for someone .. heez! sat and sun .. haiz .. more cham .. con won't be in Singapore .. he is goin to the tortoise island .. heez! haiz .. sure will damn miss him one.. :'( ... take care le daddy !! love you! buaiz..

^^^>>>FinA|Ly<<<^^^

2004-10-19T17:48:00.000+08:00

finally .. the last paper today end le .. which is the math paper two .. heez!HappY!! today .. i also got most of my exam results .. happy tt i pass but wasn't satisfied .. i pass my literature, english , science, chinese and D&T but not history .. waiting for my geography and math result... wish i will pass my geo and math bah .. god bless .. the first person who noe my results are con .. haha .. seeing him .. he is like quite happy.. great great ..but i cried when i saw condrey today too .. today is the final paper and tml no skool .. i wasn't allowed to go skating .. how wish i could .. i wanna skate with condrey .. reali miss skating with him .. haiz .. but already gonna be a ting tt have pass cuz now alreadi 5.35pm le .. so sad also no use .. tml ... mi not gonna stay at home.. mi goin to my father side .. hmm ... beta then staying here .. cuz i am my grandma will quarrel ... hate it .. change sub bah .. tis coming 22Nov .. my class got a bbq(class gathering).. i am the welfare leader so haiz .. i also dunno i could go not .. tis is not compulsory .. wish i could go too bah ... (god bless) hahax.. btw .. still happy loh .. cuz exam over and i did manage to pass most of the sub except one of now cuz dunno the math and geo result ... heez! next week wed is 27 le .. heepy! Is a special day .. a great day .. a HAPPY day!! heez! wish next wed i could go out loh .. (god bless too) .. hmm .. saying about god .. i long time nv go church le.. miss the friends there .. i also lost contact wif them le .. =( .. but is ok .. i not reali close to them too .. haha .. although tis few dayz .. lotz of sad tings happen .. but i will still stay happy no matter wat happen .. cuz .. i dun wanna get old so easily sp stay happy ;) .. tis few dayz .. i notice .. i had cried alot .. haiz .. so mani tears one .. sobx sobx .. i tink i write till here le bah .. if there is ani ting else then i write tonite bah ;) .. Love daddy !!! and reali miss him alot!!! (Daddy owe mi a hug oh! ;) ) .. I wanna thnx daddy too ... -HuGx- ( A tItE TiTe HuG fOR dAddy ONLY!! bleahx! heez! buaiz ..

CrYiNG...

2004-10-18T21:11:00.000+08:00

today .. read a chinese story book and read tis paragraph ,"shi jie shang zhui yao yuan de ju li bu shi seng ju shi er shi wo jiu zhan zai ni mian qian ni que bu zhi dao wo ai ni" and "wo men zhui pah de bu shi si lian er shi dui fang zai wan nong ni de gan qing.. wo men ye hao hai pah.. bu zhi dao ta shi fou zhen de zhen de ai ni" ... tis few sentence .. felt so meaning full .. dunno y ... haha .. tis few weeks.. lots of tings happen .. y can't there be peace .. after the fought between mi and con is when i need to face the pple in the rink .. then is the exam .. then is mark .. y can't i juz have a peace??!! My life in a like in a mess now .. i reali dunno how to tidy the mess up without ani help .. how i wish now there is someone tt can be bside mi and tell mi no fear ..giving mi a tite hug and tell mi tt he will alwayz be there giving mi a helping hand.. Full of fears in my heart .. afraid i would fail my exams .. afraid to go normal .. afraid to lose more and more friends .. afraid to lose many pple .. afraid alot of tings .. crying now .. i dunno y i bcame so weak and will cry over such fears .. but i juz couldn't control the tears in my eyes ..how wish i could be in the rink now to vent all my anger out .. I dislyk my life .. :'( .. i felt reali very stress at home .. more fear come to mi as the more i stay at home.. i dunno y i got tis feelings .. but i reali getting more scared as i stay at home .. haiz... i tink i finish writing here bah..no mood .. bb

If u rea|i love a person u shld let him or her go if u can't promise u will give him or her joy or u won't hurt him or her ..

2004-10-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

Today ... was a sad day bah .. lose a friend tt i alwayz cherish much .. did cried on the way to meet condrey at Heeren .. suppose to meet him at 12 but reach there 35 mins earlier ... went to Heeren and walked around myself wif the radio on from my hp .. tot thru alot of happy moment wif him .. my tears juz rolled down my cheeks .. i reali miss the dayz i went out wif him .. as i noe these dayz .. i won't ever get back any more .. cuz i have lose tis friend.. but still wanna thnx him for giving mi such a great moments... met condrey at 11.55am at the entrance near the mache ... we went to Cine leisure for our lunch and went to take neo prints wif him .. we didn't have ani serious pose as we are tickling each other .. ( a bully mah..jkjk) .. thn we went to taka for goin thru my d&t .. didn't manage to study for my math cuz there is no space for math as we need a table .. we then went walk around and went home .. did had fun wif condrey .. but i didn't reali enjoy myself as my mood for today .. was reali sad .. i dun wanna lose such a great friend .. ='( ... i wanna sae sry to him too .. i tink i have hurt him lot .. i dunno wat kind of mood i am in now .. one side of mi is reali fear of exam .. of goin to normal.. another side.. i am sad tt i lose a friend and hurt him .. another side i am also happy tt the relationship i am in is finally stable .. i dunno how to express my mood and my feelings .. juz feel like crying.. and heart broken ..
juz a msg to a friend tt i lost :
hai ji de wo men de yue ding mah? hai ji de ni de nuo yan mah? ni ze chi you hui ba na ge nuo yan da duan mah? re guo shi zhe yang.. wo bu hui zai shen qi huo nan guo le .. ying wei .. wo de xin yi jing bei ni shi de bu neng zai shi de di bu le.. qing ni bao zhong le !!
i tink i write till here bah.. reali no mood to continue and wish condrey dun misunderstood my meaning .. take care everyone ..

FuN dAY!!!

2004-10-16T19:48:00.000+08:00

today .. went out for studying my maths .. although the revision wasn't in a quiet and wasn't proper .. but i did to recall all the tings i learn during tis yr .. he revised thru everyting wif mi within 1 hr .. haha .. did learnt tings today ... was almost the whole day in the rink .. met con at the afternoon then went to the rink .. how wish i could skate.. i saw Aisah they all .. and played around wif the birthday ger Jackline , Eileen , Aisah , one uncle , Gladys and Jia wei .. they played wif flour , eggs and water and whip cream .. when i was helping Gladys and Jackline clear up .. Eileen threw flour at us .. i ran away and didn't caught by the flour .. Hiew! LUCKY MI! thn after finishing the eggs , flour and water .. we went off to the toilet to clear up ourself and i was very clean without ani flour or wat juz flour on my hand .. i washed my hand and help the three gers which is Gladys . Aisah and Jackline to clean up .. i didn't help Eileen cuz she wasn't around she left us very quickly wif Jia wei .. thru is few dayz without my mum goin skating wif us .. i had more fun and noe more tings about wat happening around in the rink and get closer to some skaters .. HAPPY !! Reali reali very happy .. heez! i reached home about 7.10 ?? haha .. tml goin out for revision for D&T le.. muz be serious tml ..cuz D&T sucks like hell tt is so difficult to remember... Math ... to mi is quite easy but gotta remember the formula and muz crack my head more .. haiz .. reali tired liaoz .. but was happy .. mi wanna cry too ... but didn't cry .... juz crying inside mi .. i dun noe y mum dun pay attention on mi more but my brother .. i pierced my ear ... she didn't notice so i asked her to tie my hair for mi using a lame excuse saying tt she long time nv tie for mi as i dislyk her tieing for mi cuz not reali nice .. she didn't notice .. haiz .. almost cried up .. but didn't haha .. tink i write till here .. today my favourite song is micheal learns to rock : 25 mins .. haha .. buaiz ..

BaD hEaDaChe .. CrYiNg InsIdE mI... ='(

2004-10-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

today .. was a bad day bah ... after the two exam papers .. went to clementi to look for condrey .. after the last paper which is the art (the other paper is geo) .. i on my phone and recieve con's msg saying tt my mum dun allow mi to skate as he has no chance to ask my mum so i did call her and ask but wasn't allowed.. i almost cried out ... from tt time.. my mood sucks like hell .. i was reali very very unhappy .. i felt like i was juz given a slap or a break off wif my stead .. =( .. wanted to run away tt time from con cuz he is bside mi .. but did manage to give a little smile .. wish the smile dun look very fake .. then went to jurong east the rink .. as i look at the ice , as i listen to songs .. i reali felt look crying out loud .. i reali miss the ice .. the speed , the fun and joy i have ... inside mi crying .. time reali flies .. is 4pm le.. he promised alot of pple he will skate so he went in to skate.. i went wif Aisah to the arcade .. i then reali did vent my sadness out .. i played the para para and the dancing stage .. then went up to look for con to sae bye .. i played awhile as i tried hiding tt he won't see mi .. haha .. jackine and joanne did notice mi but he didn't for quite a time .. haha .. then went home wif Aisah .. she came to my house and i called my mum whether can i go out for dinner .. and she allowed .. i muz reach home by 9 pm .. i was like yahooo .. but still crying inside mi .. went to jurong to meet con for dinner.. Joanne and them was like draggin.. con look like he was fraustrated ..so dragged mi to eat .. but i was like..not tt good bah.. then still went dinner together .. tt time is was like about to 8 in a few mins .. thn we ate and left at 8.35pm .. went out to the road and took a cab home.. on the way in the cab .. i almost cried and felt very tired in a sudden .. felt safe and peace when i was in the cab..lie my head on his shoulder ..felt comfort .. reach home in a sleepy manner .. haha .. when i was in the house ..felt stress.. grandma was in a black and sulky face and was blaming mi y i didn't bring key out .. mum called and wants mi to call my father for money .. i was like .. i juz reach home can't u juz let mi have so peace? haiz .. now chatting le . will call con b4 i sleep .. now i am reali very very tired .. about to fall asleep le .. i tink i write till here bah .. take care .. love ya!! (knees hurting . oh ya.. daddy .. do take care .. ur injury getting worse le lah..mummy worried!!)

H0|d Mi tiTe & nV lEt Mi Go ...

2004-10-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

tis week everyday .. i met condrey .. was happy being wif him .. i simply didn't noe .. y i love to lie and hug him .. haha .. wondering .. y am i so close to him .. full of question mark .. haha .. today had literature and chinese 1 exam ...literature was ok and chinese was ok but alot of word didn't noe how to write .. but i got a dic so is ok .. so tired tis few dayz .. when i was on the bus wif con .. to where .. i would alwayz lie on him and sleep .. did notice him love looking at mi when i was sleepy , juz awake and sleeping.. i asked him before y .. he ans mi tt is because he felt calm and seems like i am very peace looking.. today ...in the library .. he show mi his injured knee too ... was quite serious .. wish he get beta as day passes bah .. it seems tt tis whole week .. i will be meeting him .. haha .. love it .. thru tis few dayz .. i found out alot of tings tt i should noe it earlier ... like how much he cares about mi .. and how much i meant to him ... thnx alot too ... love him ... quite tired .. tink i write till here ... gotta revise thru my geo again or not tml sure die.. haha .. will finish my diary for today by saying..thnx for loving mi daddy!!

X_X

2004-10-13T18:56:00.000+08:00

Today had math 1 and science exam ... in the morning con came fetch mi to skool again ... cuz yest nite i cried and call him as i reali can't even remember the notes on chap 1 as i try remembering it for 1hr.. he came earli to my skool to revise thru wif mi ... felt lucky to have him wif mi .. did manage to finish my science but was like when i finish the paper the bell rang and it is times up ... i need to transfer the ans from my paper to the ans sheet so i quicky rush thru ... didn't noe whether i copy ritely not ... after the science exam i went out to the back gate..the gate was close and con was there...told him about it and meeting him at the main gate after the math exam... after 1hr break went back to the exam hall ... teachers wasn't there yet.. dunno wat's happening..sherman suddenly got voilence... i was like ooh.. ok loh.. i didn't reali care much as i didn't wanna care and i was scared ... i played around wif some guys and exam start le... i didnt manage to finish the exam .. :'( .. almost cried out ! ... i left 3 question blank .. :'( ... walk out to the main gate wif sarah and she went to the general office to pay her skool bill as i walk out to meet con .. we went to the bus stop opposite the redhill mrt and tok 32 to the queenstown library ... manage to recall most of the literature tings... hiew ... and after tt we went to the carpark bside my house .. con and i stayed there for i tink 2 hrs.. haha .. then went home around 5.30pm .. reach home liao .. drank some soup called con and came online .. chat awhile i went to eat my dinner .. now was reali very full ...haven't bath yet .. but i almost collapse le..reali very very very tired but will not collapse .. hmm .. after i finish my blog will be goin to drink a cup of milk then go sleep le... then will wake up at 9 .. bath le ..then revise my literature le... haiz .... reali scared ... reali scared to go to normal ... and lost tings tt i nv will imagine will lost it .. i am reali very very tired le .. write till here le bah .. go le ..buaiz.. oh ya. wish to see him* tml morning cuz i wanna sleep(selfish mi) but i also wan him* to sleep more oh!!

ThNx AlOt DaDdY...LoVe YoU..

2004-10-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

today morning woke up at 3.30am to revise thru my history bcuz today having history exam and eng paper 2 ... when i finish studying .. is 6am le .. i went to bath , ate a piece of bread and went down to look for con..he came to fetch mi to skool .. he came to fetch mi to skool for 2 purpose .. one is to let mi sleep in bus on the way to skool and second is to help mi revise my history thru b4 i go for the exam .. thnx alot .. we revised outside the skool the bus stop .. thnx for helping mi .. i tink i did well for my history exam as i manage to ans all questions except for 3 questions tt i dun understand .. haiz ... then went for recess .. after recess went back to the exam hall .. it is the english paper 2 le .. it was so difficult but i did my best i could .. half way thru the paper i got a very bad headache tt i felt like giving up .. the painess is reali un tolerable ... but i tot of my freedom .. the relationship i am in now and the skating.. i didn't gave up but did finish the paper juz on the dot .. after the exam .. i was feeling giddy(did accidentali knock my head) .. i didn't care .. but i wish and prayed hard to pass the exams .. i did my best i can .. reali wish ... pple ask mi .. y i tried so hard for? I answer them tt i still wan my freedom .. i still wan to keep the relationship goin on .. i still wanna skate till late nite ... but wat i feel is tt the true reason i did is bcuz of the relationship .. for my PSLE .. i didn't even care .. but now .. i reali care so much tt i can give up on my sleeping time .. after the exam went to queenstown library .. as meeting mark there .. he sae he wanna revise thru my math wif mi although his math exam had passed .. i was reali hoping he could help mi in math but he dissappointed mi ... he didn't came .. so i told con to come earlier .. he came and brought mi for lunch as i haven eat my lunch ... went back .. con didn't manage to help mi much cuz i didn't bring my science textbook but onli science file .. but still manage to revise alittle .. and went thru the math tb A .. seeing how tired con was .. but was stil hanging on there helping mi and staying bside mi ... i love him teaching mi .. how he teach mi is makes mi reali easy to remember .. he teach mi as if he is telling a story .. wat i need to do is juz to remember wat's going on in the story ... and the whole chapter is done ... went home around 6+ as around 1+ .. mum called and asked where am i .. i told her at the library and she asked mi wat time i will be home .. i told her by 7pm .. she didnt sae ani ting and allowed .. thnx.. went reach home .. i juz felt tt i should give her a call to tell her i am home .. i called her and she was pleased but was ticked off by her alittle as she asked mi to sleep earli and dun wake up in the earli morning to revise .. dun over stress myself and over tired myself.. i dunno y .. juz felt cared and loved.. tis is the first time i could felt by her .. will it be the last time? Wish not.. reali wanna thnx daddy for being there helping mi .. I WANNA PASS ALL MY SUBJECTS!! tis is the first time i wanna shout it out loud .. i didnt noe the reason y .. but i will DO MY BEST !!! I MUZ PASS ALL SUBJECT!! ... no matter wat.. i will DO my best!!! but wish i won't dissappoint myself and the pple around mi!! ... i tink i write till here le bah ..gonna study .. haiz .. i will end here by ,"thnx daddy .. i love you!"

-LoVe YoU-

2004-10-09T19:54:00.000+08:00

Today .. in the morning was at home till 5pm .. i went out to meet daddy(mY stEaD) .. actualli was out for dinner but i have no appetite .. so i didn't ..since i didn't eat daddy also didn't eat then in the end got a little gastric .. but he was ok after awhile .. we went to the rink .. was surprise to see Eddie .. wondering y he would skate.. heez! .. we stayed there till 7.05 .. which is after the speedskate .. during the time in the rink .. mi , shi yi and aisah .. we hugged on purpose ... too make daddy jealous =p ... haha .. went off the rink le .. we took a cab to my place as daddy sending mi home ... i slept in the cab laying my head on daddy's shoulder ... almost fall asleep but i tot of sth .. will he be uncomfortable .. i did ask him .. he sae he is not uncomfortable .. then i lay my head on his head again .. i tot of sth again .. y all my stead is older then mi? the first one is older then mi by 2 .. the second one is older then mi by 1 and now is older then mi by 5 .. haha .. i rejected all the one hu is the same age as mi .. during the way home .. his parents kept on calling him .. he didn't pick up the fone call .. i asked y .. he told mi cuz he doesn't wanna tell his parents where he is so ... i did ask him tt won't his parents scold him if he didn't pick up his call? he sae is okay ... mi more important then himself ..then i told him tt i reali cannot tolerate him le .. he ans mi back tt he long time nv hear mi sae tt le.. wat he sae makes mi reali feel love.. i could reali feel his love and feel his care .. thnks le ;) .. hmm ... so fast .. our relationship is about to be 7 mths le .. haha .. great and thnks le .. tink write till here .. i wanna go bath .. juz reach home onli .. heez! take care.. love ya .. buaiz ..

+++sad+++

2004-10-09T13:34:00.000+08:00

tis few dayz .. i dunno y .. I seems to be ignore by those hu usually are close to mi .. Now.. Instead of being wif those I usually wif .. I get more close to those hu I dun often tok to .. i seems to go into another groups of pple .. goin into another group of pple make mi upset .. cuz i dun wanna to .. feel like crying .. inside of mi crying out .. i tried to go back to them .. but they are like starting to leave mi .. i did tried but they juz like ignoring mi .. even though they did tok to mi .. feeling sick tis few days .. exams also have started .. full of fears .. reali afraid to go normal .. goin to normal will onli be a nite mare to mi .. crying inside mi ... the day b4 yest .. i went to con's blog .. i saw tis at the bottom of the blog ,"onli time will tell ... how much i love u... everyting i do... i do it for u ... no matter how hard i tried ... i've almost lost everyting..." am i still hurting u? am i still making u sad? dunno .. my mind now is in a mess .. i reali dunno wat's happening .. tears in my eyes are about to roll out to my cheeks ... today is a sat .. i wanna skate but not allowed to .. i dunno whether i should ask con to bring mi out for dinner or should stay here and wait for Brian and go down to play wif him later?? i wanna go out for dinner also wanna see Brian (he is my brother .. dun misunderstood) .. tot thru tis few dayz .. i found alot of changes in mi .. e.g .. my tinking .. my outlook ( about to ) and my attitude ... haiz .. reali dunno wat's goin on wif mi .. :'( .. write till here le bah .. take care .. love con.. buaiz ..

QuiZ rEsU|t

2004-10-04T03:45:00.001+08:00

You are the color pink. As a beautiful and sweet
human, you are everybody's favorite person.
Healthy and energetic, you're often seen
spreading the happines. As an unusually
charming and sweet person, you're always ready
to comfort people who are down. You sympathize
with everyone, but not always yourself. Aside
from that, you are light-hearted and cheery.
And you make it your duty to make every cloud
have

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by

QuiZ rEsU|t

2004-10-04T03:45:00.000+08:00

He likes to be by himself a lot, but don't let that
scare you off. He has a very caring soul and he
will always love you from the bottom of his
heart! And if your friends start telling you
hes not your type, ignore them or laugh in
their faces. You are the key to unlock that
heart of his^^.

What kind of boyfriend would you have?(with pics and obviously for girls^^)
brought to you by

-|0vInG yOu-

2004-10-04T02:40:00.000+08:00

Dunno wat's goin on .. tings happening one after another .. haiz .. juz knew tt shi yi likes con.. wasn't jealous or wat .. can sae is bcuz i am use to it .. cuz my ex use to got alot of pple hu likes him .. so use to it liao..no feelings ..yest went ice skating .. mum wasn't there again .. heez! Mi and con went back like last time liao.. heepy! Was quite happy.. went home quite late .. i stop skating at 8.30 like that then went home .. con wanted to sent mi home .. but i asked him not to ..cuz he is having gastric and second i need to tok to mark i tink so as in the rink i had some friction wif mark ..con also did asked mi to tok to mark .. dun nv tok to him .. but yest was a day that i haven have for a long long time .. a happy day .. a enjoyable day .. a nice nice day cuz all sad things will still end at the end of the day .. no sadness but juz worries .. at least beta then last few weeks ...yest then i knew sth tt i didn't noe .. tt is tt Mark will be jealous when i was wif con.. i didn't knew tt till yest(si bai) .. haiz .. but i tink mark do understand ;) .. i and mark went to the playground at my house there in dover cuz he send mi home .. we played awhile(still a kid) then he send mi to my house .. after i put down my bag .. he requested mi to sent him to the main gate there .. i agreed and sent him there .. then i went home ... i reached home about 10.10 .. my mum wasn't home till about 11 bah .. once i reached home .. the first ting i do is call con .. cuz of two reason .. one is tt con was worried and second is that i am afraid to be alone in the house .. scary (watch too much ghost story when i was in p5) haha .. timid of mi .. =p ... thru yest .. i knew sth .. a person will only noe how important someone is when he or she is about to lose him or her .. haha .. btw .. write till here bah.. will write another one tonite ;)

QuiZ ReSuLt AgAin .. BleAh ..

2004-10-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

Your eyes should be multi-colored. You're
submissive and indecisive, always worrying
about what other people think of you. Your
always dependent on your friends and without
them probuly would be lost forever.

What Color Eyes Should You Have? ( With Anime Pictures ^-^ )
brought to you by

SiC|{ x_x ..

2004-10-01T10:05:00.000+08:00

today, in skool whole day wasn't feeling well , had a bad headache and dun feel like goin anywhere ...maybe not enuf sleep bah .. then during recess i sms con to tell him i am feeling unwell .. he was worried till he came to my skool to bring mi home .. sorry to make u worried .. bleahx .. after skool went to the bukit merah central to have my lunch then went home .. Sherman gave mi sth today .. thnks alot .. today .. con told mi tt Sherman bought the wrong colour .. if it is blue and white .. i would like it alot.. after he said tis ... i then realised sth .. the person hu understand mi the most is him ... none of my family members can understand mi as well as he does .. thnks alot .. Mi still feeling tired and alittle headache . haha .. daddy .. dun worry and mi will take care de ;) (not my family member tt father) i tink someone out dere also is worried bah .. u dun worry too .. will be fine .. ( tink u noe hu u are lah) how wish tml i dun need to go to skool .. =p ... haha .. mi go watch tv le .. buaiz ..

IntRo..

2004-09-30T11:20:00.000+08:00

Halo.. mi first time write in tis blog .. heez! I didn't noe the reason y i created tis blog .. should have a reason bah .. but i didn't noe .. today .. went out to the queenstown library (act guai) .. con went to skool to pick mi up and met mark at the library .. i was surprise seeing mark there .. haha .. As i didn't expect to see him there .. haha .. after doing some hw .. we went to the nearby NTUC ... i went there to buy some tibits for tml .. bought liao then i was totally broke .. :'( ..haha .. jkjk .. ( lame mi ) tink write till here bah ..gtg go do science hw or notz tml die liao .. heez! btw.. exam coming liao ..wish every one best of all! Take care .. buaiz ..

Fe|Tz

a BIG smile!!!

-AIM-

It will take a long time to heal ..

+++SaD+++

Halo ...

Happy ,,, Contented ,,, Love him ,,,

Do u noe .. u are the one hurting her the most not mi??!!

StI|L sAd...StI|L wAnNA cRy..

|0sT...

MiX FeEliNgS ..

MisSeD hIm MucH!!

^^^>>>FinA|Ly<<<^^^

CrYiNG...

If u rea|i love a person u shld let him or her go if u can't promise u will give him or her joy or u won't hurt him or her ..

FuN dAY!!!

BaD hEaDaChe .. CrYiNg InsIdE mI... ='(

H0|d Mi tiTe & nV lEt Mi Go ...

X_X

ThNx AlOt DaDdY...LoVe YoU..

-LoVe YoU-

+++sad+++

QuiZ rEsU|t

QuiZ rEsU|t

-|0vInG yOu-

QuiZ ReSuLt AgAin .. BleAh ..

*SiC|{ * x_x ..

IntRo..

SiC|{ x_x ..